Spinner

SPINNER

A Drama in One Act

by William C. Seward

Performance Rights

It is an infringement of federal copyright law to copy or reproduce this script in any manner or to perform this play without royalty payment. The author controls all rights. Contact for additional scripts and further licensing information. The author’s name must appear on all programs and promotional material.

William Seward :  lastromantic49@yahoo.com

December 2, 1998

Copyright © 1997 by Bill Seward

CHARACTERS:

RICK DINSMORE: 40's. Grandson.

MARGOT: Rick's wife.

D.W. DINSMORE: The Grandfather. About 80.

CLARA DINSMORE: Grandmother. A bit younger.

GRADY DINSMORE: Father. 60.

NELDA TARVER: Waitress. 20-30

BROTHER SNYDER Local Minister

SPUD BROWN Town character.

JEFF LAYTON Local farmer

BUS DRIVER

Time:

1970's, Saturday morning, early spring.

Scene:

Small town cafe. Rural setting. A few tables, counter w/ stools. Counter with exit to kitchen behind it. Front entrance visible. Decor is early dinette set. Some patrons enter w/ mail, etc.

Act I

Scene 1

(SETTING: Early morning cafe. Dishes rattling, coffee brewing.)

(AT RISE: SPUD and SNYDER are finishing a game of dominos. NELDA is bustling back and forth from kitchen to counter to tables.)

SNYDER.

(slaps last domino down, jubilant)

Domino!

SPUD

Domino, domino, the pope plays dominoes.

SNYDER.

Very funny, what have you got?

SPUD

Thirty-five.

(SNYDER marks his score, SPUD shuffles dominoes as NELDA approaches and refills their cups. This is daily routine for all. The game continues throughout the play, their remarks usually barely audible. SNYDER wins mostly.)

SNYDER.

(placing double five)

I've got the spinner. That's ten.

SPUD

You sure preachers don't cheat?

SNYDER.

Don't have to. God's on our side.

NELDA

More donuts?

SPUD

Not yet.

SNYDER.

I'll take some of that pie, Nelda.

SPUD

Giving in to temptation, Preacher?

SNYDER

I consider Frances' coconut pie a religious experience.

SPUD

I guess you would know.

(CLARA and D.W. enter from street. They are carrying mail. They have been married a long time. As the following dialogue continues, they cross to their regular table and sit. CLARA is somewhat dressed up, not quite Sunday best, but nicer than a house dress. D.W. is in work khakis, but clean ones. He wears a comfortable old hat or feed store cap.)

CLARA

Good morning Brother Snyder.

SNYDER.

'Morning Sister Clara . . . D.W.

D.W.

Brother Snyder . . . Spud.

SPUD

Plowing done, D.W.?

D.W.

Rick's gonna finish today.

SNYDER.

You really work that boy, D.W.

D.W.

He enjoys it, Brother Snyder.

CLARA

He wouldn't let us sell the place, said it should stay in the family.

SPUD

But working in the city all week, and the farm all weekend. . .

D.W.

Evenings too, sometimes.

CLARA

I just can't sleep for worrying about him.

D.W.

He says it's a break for him, clears his mind after being in the office all day.

SPUD

Not many people work for relaxation. Most fish or take up golf.

D.W.

Golf? I'd rather be bored.

SNYDER.

What would you know about it Spud? You don't even remember the last time you worked.

SPUD

Sure do. It was 1953, before my medical problems.

SNYDER.

Medical problems? You were just born tired and never got rested! Been fishing, D.W.?

D.W.

Too windy. Never have much luck when the wind's blowing. You and Sister Snyder coming for forty-two on Tuesday?

SNYDER.

We wouldn't miss it.

D.W.

Spud?

SPUD

I'll pass D.W., thanks.

(NELDA comes to the Dinsmore's table with coffee pot and cups (with saucers). CLARA is cool toward her, D.W. warm.)

NELDA

Coffee, folks?

D.W.

Two.

(NELDA pours and crosses to get cream etc.)

CLARA

I just do not know why Frances keeps her on.

D.W.

Nelda's okay.

CLARA

(Sarcastically)

You men think so, anyway.

(NELDA approaches. Places cream and sugar near CLARA. CLARA pours hers into saucer and blows on it to cool it, then drinks from the saucer. RICK and MARGOT enter from street. They approach the Dinsmore's table. They speak to all except CLARA and D.W. )

RICK

Morning Brother Snyder. Hi Spud.

SNYDER.

Morning.

SPUD

Rick . . . Margot.

NELDA

(from off)

Coffee, Rick?

RICK

(looks at MARGOT)

Honey?

(MARGOT nods)

RICK

(to NELDA)

Two, with donuts.

CLARA

(opening letter)

We won some free luggage, and a diamond watch.

RICK

You did that one last year, remember? They wanted you to buy that land at Lakeshores.

D.W.

Lakeshores!! I remember when it was called Griddle. Nothing but sun and rocks.

CLARA

But if it's free. . .

RICK

You still can't afford it grandma. Remember when you spent a hundred dollars getting that free television?

CLARA

That was for shipping charges.

D.W.

It didn't even work.

MARGOT

The silverware that time was nice.

NELDA

(with coffee and donuts)

That's how Frances furnished this place. Free silverware and lots of trading stamps.

(D.W. and RICK laugh, women ignore her.)

It's the truth!

CLARA

(opening another letter)

That T.V. Guide subscription of yours is almost up.

D.W.

Better renew it.

JEFF

(comes just inside street door)

Rick, come look at this. Oh, morning D.W. . . . Miz Dinsmore.

D.W.

Morning Jeff. What's going on?

JEFF

Just something Rick wanted to see.

RICK

I'll just be a minute.

(RICK exits to street.)

CLARA

I wonder what's so important.

MARGOT

Oh, you know Jeff, he probably got a new set of tires or something.

(points to another letter.)

What's that one?

CLARA

I don't know. It's postmarked Tucson. Who do we know in Tucson?

D.W.

Can't think of anyone. Open it, maybe we won something else. . . lake front property in Death Valley or something.

CLARA

You're something, you know that, just something.

(opens letter)

This is from Grady!

D.W.

What's he doing in Tucson?

CLARA

I don't know, let me . . . I just can't read it, here Margot, can you make it out?

MARGOT

He says "Just dropping a line to let you know I'm on my way home. I'm catching the bus, should be there Saturday, the 14th."

CLARA

Why, that's nice. It's been so long since we've seen him . . .wait . . . the 14th . . . that's today. D.W., Grady's coming home today!

D.W.

Our boy's coming home? Now?

SNYDER.

What's that, D.W.?

CLARA

Our son, Brother Snyder, remember Grady? He's coming home.

SPUD

It's been a long time since old Grady's been here. He didn't even come back for his class reunion. 'Course, nobody else did neither.

CLARA

Rick's always missed his father so. Oh, just wait till he hears.

RICK

(entering from street with JEFF. JEFF goes to sit near SNYDER and SPUD)

Wait till who hears what?

CLARA

Honey, it's your father, Grady, he's coming home.

D.W.

Clara just opened the letter, he's on today's bus.

(louder, to NELDA)

Nelda, put out the flag, the bus is bringing Grady home!

NELDA

It'll stop, Mr. Dinsmore, if someone's getting off.

RICK

He's coming here? What does he want?

CLARA

(Surprised)

He's your father, Rick. He's coming home to see you, and us.

RICK

There must be another reason. There's always something else.

D.W.

That's no way to talk about Grady. He brought you into this world.

RICK

And then he split.

MARGOT

Rick. . .

CLARA

(Dismissing)

If you say so.

(Louder)

Nelda! Did you put that flag out?

RICK

She said that it would stop anyway, Mom.

CLARA

Oh, she doesn't know. What if it doesn't.

D.W.

Grady's not going to stay on it all the way to San Antonio.

CLARA

He could be asleep, or reading.

RICK

(to MARGOT)

Or not even on the bus.

CLARA

Nelda, the flag!

                (NELDA has been nearby listening, now she starts to protest again, but after a look from RICK she goes and gets the flag, taking it outside. Returning immediately without it.)

                                                CLARA

When does that bus get here?

NELDA

(Checking clock.)

It'll be about an hour, I think.

CLARA

So soon?

D.W.

Now don't get into a state Clara.

CLARA

But there is so much to do. I have to put dinner on, air out his room. Should I get my hair done? You need a haircut.

D.W.

I don't think. . . .

CLARA

No, no time for that. Take me home. I'll get a cake started.

                (She gathers the mail, her things. Starts to the street door, D.W. following.)

                                              SPUD

Later D.W.

                                               RICK

Mom, wait. . . .

                (CLARA and D.W. exit. At about the same time, NELDA exits to kitchen.)

                                              MARGOT

Rick, what's wrong?

                                               RICK

It's always like this. They drop everything the minute they hear from Grady.

                                               MARGOT

He is their son.

                                                 RICK

And me, what am I.

                                              MARGOT

His son.

                                                  RICK

He's not my father, not really.

                                              MARGOT

I know how you feel, you've told me often enough. And you're right. But, whether or not you accept him as your father, he's still their son.

                                                 RICK

I've been their son for forty years. Twice as long as he was around. I've farmed the place since I could sit on the tractor and I work at the plant so we can afford to farm. He's done nothing, he's contributed nothing, he's meant nothing. He only comes through every ten years or so and stirs everything up.

                                               MARGOT

There might be something else.

                                                   RICK

I know, I said there was.

                                              MARGOT

You're forty years old, how old is your dad?

                                                   RICK

Don't call him that!

                                              MARGOT

How old?

                                                  RICK

Sixty, I guess.

                                                MARGOT

He's getting older now.

                                                  RICK

(Realizing.)

Oh, Jesus. You're right. He is coming back.

                                               MARGOT

He's retiring.

                                                  RICK

He's waltzing right back and taking over.

                                               MARGOT

He's their son.

                                                   RICK

GODDAMMIT!

(All are startled)

                                              MARGOT

SHHHH!

                                                 RICK

I'm gonna be out on my ear.

                                               MARGOT

You don't know that.

                                                 RICK

I've worked the place for forty years. I'm supposed to be a partner. It's all supposed to be mine someday.

                                              MARGOT

I don't think they would . . .

                                                  RICK

Of course they would, they will. You said it yourself, "He's their son." I'm not, I never have been. I could have left too. Old man Jackson offered me that job in San Antonio. I thought I owed it to them to stay.

                                              MARGOT

You always said your roots were here.

                                                 RICK

Sometimes roots don't go as deep as you think. I need to talk to Nelda.

                                              MARGOT

(Suspicious)

Her, why?

                                                RICK

I'll tell you later.

                (He exits to kitchen, MARGOT sits back down and picks at her donut. She is preoccupied, but can't avoid paying attention to the domino game which is still proceeding.)

                                            SPUD

Jeff, you want to play for me? I need to see a man about a dog.

                                              JEFF

Sure, if you want me to.

                                           SNYDER

Couldn't do any worse.

                                            SPUD

Keep your eye on the preacher, I think he's changing the spots.

                (Gives JEFF his dominos and crosses toward street door, pauses, turns back to SNYDER.)

                                             SPUD

Genesis, chapter 31, verse 49; "The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another."

                (Exits through street door. Pause in conversation as play continues a couple of downs (turns).)

                                               JEFF

You know Brother Snyder, I don't understand something.

                                             SNYDER

What's that Jeff?

                                               JEFF

There are other folks around, why does the preacher spend time with the atheist?

                                           SNYDER

Well, first, he's not an atheist. Spud's more of an agnostic. Second, he knows more bible than anyone else around here.

                                              JEFF

(Downs last domino)

Domino.

                                          SNYDER

Well, I'll be! Here, you get forty off me.

                                              JEFF

Done.

(SNYDER shuffles dominos)

                                              JEFF

Doesn't the bible say that the devil can quote scripture too?

                                         SNYDER

That's right Jeff, glad you paid attention. Thing is though . . .

(SPUD enters)

                                SNYDER (Cont'd)

. . the devil doesn't play dominos.

                                           SPUD

The pope does though.

                                          SNYDER

Jeff won one for you.

                                           SPUD

Beginner's luck. You must have let him.

                                           SNYDER

(Quoting)

"It is impossible for a man to be cheated by any one but himself . . ."

                                             SPUD

(Finishes quote)

"As for a thing to be and not to be at the same time." Emerson.

                (SPUD sits in his chair, JEFF returns to his own. Play resumes.)

(RICK enters from kitchen.)

                                            MARGOT

(Catty)

Did you have a nice little chat?

                                               RICK

We need to go.

                                           MARGOT

No! I'm not leaving until you tell me what is going on.

                                               RICK

Nothing is going on.

                                           MARGOT

Sure! And you're not sneaking off behind my back to see that bimbo.

                                              RICK

She's not a bimbo. And no one is sneaking anywhere.

                                          MARGOT

But you can't tell me what you talk about.

                                             RICK

Why can't you just trust me?

                                          MARGOT

I'll trust you as far as I can throw you. You are not going to leave me, for anyone. If anyone leaves it's going to be me!

                                            RICK

What's leaving got to do with it? Are you tired of me?

                                       MARGOT

I'm not the one sneaking around with miss perky!

                                           RICK

No one is sneaking around with anyone. We've had this discussion too many times and this is not the place for it.

                                       MARGOT

(Indicating players.)

They don't care. Afraid you're sweetie will hear? Let's call her out here.

                                          RICK

No. I'm going home.

(Starts toward street door)

                                         MARGOT

Don't you dare walk away from me! You always walk away!

(Follows RICK)

Come back here!

(They Exit.)

                                         SNYDER

(Lays down double-five)

Spinner.

                 (SPUD and JEFF look at each other.)

(Blackout)

END SCENE 1

SCENE 2

                (SETTING: Same as before, one hour later.)

                 (AT RISE: SPUD and SNYDER still playing dominoes. NELDA is seated nearby, taking a break. No one else on stage.)

                                              SPUD

(On playing)

Fifteen.

                                           SNYDER

(Continuing a discussion)

So you maintain that it was a selfish act.

                                             SPUD

What else could it be? The writer says that it was not the season for fruit. There was none on the tree, so he killed it.

                                           SNYDER

But he was proving a point.

                                             SPUD

By killing a living thing? Was that a "Christlike" thing to do? Is that why we kill a living tree to continue a "pagan" celebration and call it "his" birthday?

                                           SNYDER

You make him sound like a spoiled child.

                                             SPUD

Like father, like son.

                                           SNYDER

I think Jeff was right.

                                             SPUD

That's a revelation. What about?

                                           SNYDER

Doesn't matter.

                (RICK enters from street entrance, sees NELDA and approaches.)

                                             RICK

What are we going to do?

                                          NELDA

Why do we have to do anything?

                                             RICK

You're right. You don't have to. But I do.

                                          NELDA

But you'll lose everything.

                                            RICK

It looks like I already have.

                                          NELDA

Don't be so sure.

                (D.W. and CLARA enter from the street, MARGOT right behind them. D.W. carries a newspaper. Women eye NELDA suspiciously, she moves away to kitchen. CLARA has put on a newer dress for the occasion. D.W. only changed to his best hat. MARGOT still looks as she did. D.W. and CLARA move back to their table, MARGOT crosses to RICK.)

                                            D.W.

Has the bus come yet?

                                           RICK

Not yet. Soon, I'm sure.    

                (CLARA digs through her purse for her makeup, D.W. looks at the newspaper.)

                                        MARGOT

(A bit catty.)

Did we interrupt you?

                                            RICK

(Absently)

No. It's all right.

                                        MARGOT

I thought we settled this. What did you have to tell her that you couldn't tell me?

                                            RICK

Just a problem she wanted me to help her with.

                                        MARGOT

I can imagine.

                                            RICK

No, I don't think you can.

                                         MARGOT

Oh, I can imagine a lot.

                                            RICK

Well, it doesn't matter now.

                                          MARGOT

It matters if you and that . . .that person are cooking something up. Don't forget who you are married to.

                                             RICK

You don't understand.

                                         MARGOT

Try me.

                 (They continue their discussion, but quietly.)

                                          SNYDER

(Quoting)

“Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father.” John six sixty-five.

                                             SPUD

"Is man only a blunder of God, or God only a blunder of man?" Nietzsche.

                                         SNYDER

(Plays last domino)

Domino.

                                            SPUD

I can't win to save my soul!

                                         SNYDER

That's just my point.

                                          CLARA

(Finishing makeup)

I wish that girl would leave Rick alone!

                                            D.W.

(still looking at paper)

Who, Margot?

                                           CLARA

You know who I'm talking about. She's twisted all you men around her finger since Frances hired her. And I'll never understand why she did.

                                               D.W.

You know why. Frances was always saying she wanted to retire and let someone else run things.

                                             CLARA

Well, why her of all people.

                                                 D.W.

No one else wanted the job. She's bright, she works hard.

                                              CLARA

(Ignoring that)

And above all, why move here? Nobody knows who she is, who her parents were. Two years ago she only had the clothes on her back. Now everyone treats her like the Queen of Sheba.

                                                 D.W.

Everybody has to be somewhere. Why do you suppose Grady's coming back?

                                               CLARA

You're as bad as Rick. Our son's been away a long time. It's time he came home.

                                                 D.W.

I wonder if he's in some kind of trouble.

                                               CLARA

Well, if he is, he needs to be with his family.

                                                 D.W.

What about Rick?

                                               CLARA

He'll be all right.

                                                 D.W.

I don't know. I think there's trouble between him and Margot.

                                               CLARA

He'll get his head on straight. Maybe when Grady gets here. . .

                                                  D.W.

Maybe.

                                                 SPUD

The fatted calf was killed for the prodigal son, how did that benefit the good son?

                                              SNYDER

Many people have had trouble with that. The lesson was about compassion, not justice.

                                                 SPUD

Let's save some compassion for those that deserve it. The prodigal doesn't always . . .return.

(GRADY enters from street door, carrying bags, just before SPUD says “return”.)

                                               GRADY

I don't believe anyone has moved an inch since I left here. Mom . . .Dad?

                                                CLARA

Grady!

                                                 SPUD

Domino!!

                                                  D.W.

Great to have you back son!

                                                  CLARA

Oh Grady, you look thinner.

                                                  GRADY

Just older, Mom.

                                                  CLARA

Your room is just as you left it.

                                                 GRADY

You know, you haven't aged a day Mom. As pretty as ever.

                                                 CLARA

(Touching hair)

Get on with you. Will . . . will you be staying long?

                                                GRADY

Just as long as you'll have me. I've decided this is where I want to be.

                                                CLARA

My prayers are answered!

                                                   D.W.

That's wonderful son, you know we could use the help around the farm.

                                                 CLARA

Why, yes. It's too much for Rick to handle alone. Oh! Rick . . . what are you doing over there? Speak to your father.

                                                 GRADY

That's Rick? You've become a fine looking man, son.

                                                   RICK

(Uncomfortably)

Good to see you, sir. I guess you'll be staying then.

                                                  GRADY

That's about the size of it.

                                                    RICK

There's someone else here you should say hi to.

                                                   GRADY

I know. This must be Margot. Mom sent me pictures of the two of you. She's even prettier than her picture.

                                                  MARGOT

Please to meet you, Mr. Dinsmore.

                                                     RICK

Yes, but I was speaking of someone else. Nelda. . .

                                                      NELDA

(Approaching)

Yes Grady, it's Nelda.

                                                       GRADY

Nelda! My god, I haven't seen you in years.

                                                      CLARA

What do you mean, Grady? Do you know this girl?

                                                       GRADY

Of course, Mom. Why didn't you tell me she was here?

                                                      CLARA

I . . . . .

                                                      NELDA

They don't know about me, I only told Rick.

                                                      GRADY

You never . . . Well, Mom. Let me introduce you to your granddaughter, Nelda.

                                                      CLARA

My granddaughter? What do you mean?

                                                     GRADY

Her mother and I were together for a while in Santa Fe. I didn't tell you because it didn't work out.

                                                    MARGOT

Rick, she's your sister?

                                                         RICK

Half sister, but . . . yes.

                                                       NELDA

He's been wonderful, the brother I've always wanted. I'm very lucky to have found him.

                                                BUS DRIVER

(Entering from street.)

Hey, buddy. You gonna get your other bags?

                                                        RICK

I'll get them.

(He exits)

                                                BUS DRIVER

Where's my new passenger?

                                                      NELDA

There isn't one, we just wanted to make sure you'd stop.

                                                BUS DRIVER

Course I'd stop with an incoming. Hadn't oughter put out the flag without a passenger. Against regulations. Coulda made me late.

(He exits)

                                                    GRADY

So you never told them?

                                                    NELDA

Mother told me where you came from, I wanted to find you, see what you were like. We hadn't heard from you in ten years, so I came here. I couldn't tell anyone but Rick. I didn't know if they would accept me.

                                                    GRADY

That's ridiculous. You're kin.

                                                     CLARA

Grady. . . Nelda. . .

                                                       JEFF

(Entering from street)

Mr. Dinsmore, Rick said to give you this.

(Hands something to GRADY)

                                                    GRADY

What's this?

                                                       D.W.

The tractor key.

                                                      JEFF

He gave it to me as he got on the bus.

                                                 MARGOT

The bus?

                                                     CLARA

Oh no! . . .Rick!

                                                       D.W.

Why would he do a fool thing like that?

                                                    MARGOT

Where's he going? How can he leave like that?

                 (They look at each other, speechless.)

                                                     SNYDER

Domino!!

                                                      SPUD

You know, I'm getting tired of losing this game to you.

                                                     SNYDER

How about a game of checkers?

                (CLARA goes into GRADY's arms, he holds her awkwardly.)

                                                    CLARA

It's good to have you home, Rick.

                                                     GRADY

I'm Grady, Ma.

(Blackout)

End of Play

--------------

This play was first produced October, 1998 at Sam Bass Community Theater in Round Rock, Texas as First Place winner in their first One-Act Play Contest and Director Workshop.

Find The Lady!

Find The Lady

By

William Seward

Chapter 1

Parson Short stepped into Carol's Cafe. Not a place known as a den of intrigue, at least lately. He missed the old batwing doors but the air conditioning was a good trade on a hot Texas afternoon. He carried the backpack over to one of the tables, removed the laptop and turned it on so it could be connecting while he ordered his java.

At the counter he asked for his regular black coffee, no fancy stuff. A sweet roll caught his eye. Carol's sweet rolls were sinfully good; large, gooey sweet, and came heated with a generous dollop of real butter. Behind the counter Jean rolled her eyes when he asked for one. She’d gotten to know him too well. He took his coffee and returned to his table to finish setting things up. With the slump in private eye business lately Short had stopped paying for internet at his little one man office. If things didn't look up soon, he'd have to let that office go as well.

Working at the cafe was better anyway. He was well known here. He could camp out at one of the tables for a half a day and use the wifi, read or people-watch. Today his plan was to run updates on his cell phone.

His old cell phone was three upgrades behind, but it did all he usually needed. It wasn't like anyone was calling him these days. Oddly enough they were still issuing updates for the software, even though the techs expressed amazement that it still worked. His sweet roll came while he was getting the process started.

The internet signal was slow today. Short read his email and unobtrusively watched the other customers as he enjoyed his roll and coffee. Sometimes a job lead would come his way if he kept his ears open. There was nothing today, though.

He was distracted when he saw an attractive young woman enter carrying a small box in her hands. He watched as she stood at the counter and looked over the menu. Before she made up her mind a pair of sheriff's deputies entered the cafe and walked toward a corner table. The girl abruptly turned and exited. Jean shrugged and turned to carry the coffee pot and mugs to the two deputies.

Short realized that he still had a fourth of his sweet roll left but his coffee was gone. He waved Jean over with the pot. As Jean filled his cup she suddenly said, “Oh damn!” put down the pot and darted to the door. She quickly returned and said “too late!” She indicated the small box on the counter. “She not only didn't order, she left that behind.” Short got up and looked the package over, it was taped shut and had no markings on the outside.

“Do you know her?”

“Don’t know her name. She comes in sometimes. I think she works in an office, she usually orders a tray of coffees and several scones.” Jean looked around the counter then checked a paper spike. “She brought a list yesterday, here it is.”

Short took the slip of paper. It was a pale blue note, torn from a pad. Part of a letterhead was on the top of the page. It said Otheros United.

“Jean, this is what we call a major clue! Otheros is just outside of town. I was just thinking of going there to see my ex. Want me to drop it off?”

“That would be great, Parson.”

Short handed her his card in case the girl returned. He packed up his laptop and cell phone, nodded at the deputies in the corner and left the shop. The small package was nestled in his coat pocket. There had been no serious prospects for income in his email, and above all, nothing from Amy. However, things were looking up. He had an excuse to see her at Otheros and maybe score a finder’s fee in the process.

As Short drove his '71 Olds Cutlass on the road north of town his phone rang. A glance at the screen told him it was Tupper Rountree, an old client. Short picked up the phone. Tupper said, "Hi, Short. I got a message that you called me."

"I did, a couple of days ago. I was wondering if you could pay me that hundred that you owe me!"

"I wish I could, buddy, but I just don't have it right now."

Short became aware of an intermittent buzzing noise coming from the package in his pocket. He took it out and laid it on the seat. He hoped it wasn't going to explode as he replied to Tupper. "Call me buddy after you've brought your tab up to date."

"I have a check coming in next week, I'll pay you then!"

"I'm counting on it, Tupper."

He hung up. There it went again, the package, buzzzz, buzz. Maybe it was the kids cell phone. But why wrap it up? Should he open it? As he pondered this, Short pulled into the parking lot of Otheros United.

Chapter 2

The company consisted of a cluster of buildings inside of twenty acres of chain-link fence. The administrative office was at the front with an open parking lot, access to the other buildings was through guarded entrances.

Short walked through the entrance. A burly guard near the door glanced at him and looked away. Short had a moment of worry. Amy had started work here since the divorce and he hadn’t visited. Of course there was that whole restraining order thing, but that was all a mistake. Still, it was sort of a letdown that no one recognized him.

The receptionist looked up from her desk. She managed to give the impression she was looking down at him at the same time. “May I help you?”

“I’m here to see….”

Before he could finish a young man walked in from the hallway and laid several file folders on her desk. He passed an appraising look over Short and asked. “Are you the private detective; Mr. …..?

Short was surprised by the question. He almost forgot to answer. “Umm, yeah. Short, Parson Short.”

“I’m Keith. Mr. Atkinson’s assistant. He’s been expecting you. He’s in conference room B, down the hall. I’ll show him the way, Cheryl.”

Short was a bit flustered. Why did the president of the company want to see him? Had something happened to Amy? Or was he really getting the bum's rush after all? He followed Keith down the hall. The door to the conference room was open and a man was inside. Keith made a vague hand motion waving Short through the door and continued on.

Trevor Atkinson was tall and matinee idol handsome. He looked up from the spread out paperwork and pointed at a chair. Short approached him. “Mr. Atkinson, I’m Parson Short. I understand you’re expecting me?”

Atkinson took his hand and shook it firmly. “Yes indeed if you're an investigator Mr. Short, or is it Reverend?”

“Mister is fine, Parson is my name, not my job.”

“Good, then you can get started right away?”

“What is it you need me to do?”

“I’m sorry, I thought your office had filled you in. Something has been stolen from us. Something important. We’re still in a state of a shock, I’m afraid. Industrial espionage is not that common here.”

“Tell me all about it.”

“A piece of experimental hardware was taken in the past few days. We need it back and we need the thief apprehended. That’s why we wish to retain you.”

Short thought of the box in his coat pocket. “How small are we talking, bread box or pack of cigarettes?”

“A pack of cigarettes would fit. You see we developed a new …”

Just then the intercom broke into the conversation. The receptionist said, “Mr. Atkinson. There is another investigator here.”

“Send him in, Cheryl.” Atkinson turned to Short. “Are you expecting an associate?”

Short thought of his empty one-desk office. “Not really.”

Footsteps came down the hall and Ty Bonnet stepped through the door. Seeing Short he spoke abruptly. “Why are you here, Short? Otheros is our account!”

Atkinson turned to Short. “You two aren’t together?”

Ty snorted. “In his dreams.”

Short held up his hands in surrender and smiled. “I think there may have been a mistake. I was talking to the receptionist and I’m afraid your assistant made an assumption…”

“I’m confused. You’re not a private investigator?”

Ty laughed. “That’s what I keep saying!”

Short ignored him. “Yes sir, I am.”

Ty stepped between Short and Atkinson. “Get lost Short. I have this job.”

Short raised his hands again. “No worries. You can have the account. However, I do believe I may have a lead on what you are looking for, small box about so big by so big, purple tape holding it closed” Something told Short not to admit the box was on him. He hoped it wouldn't buzz again.

The other two looked at him. Ty’s face turned red. Atkinson had a thoughtful look on his face. He turned to Ty and said. “I’m afraid we won’t be needing you at this time Mr. Bonnet. I’ll work with Mr. Short on this matter.” Short felt the box vibrate again in his pocket but he covered it by clearing his throat vigorously.

Ty grimaced at Atkinson's remarks. His jaw bunched as he said, “Very well, Mr. Atkinson.” As he turned to leave, a glare at Short promised retribution to come. Short shrugged and turned back to Atkinson.

Atkinson sat behind the table, getting comfortable. He steepled his hands in front of his face and spoke. "So, Short, do you have the item? Where is it?"

"I can put my hands on it. It's in a very safe place for now."

"And the thief?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll find her…or him. Especially if I can use the box as bait."

"It better work!" Atkinson pulled out his checkbook. "Will a thousand do for a retainer?"

Short's heart thudded and re-started itself. "Sounds reasonable."

"You have twenty four hours."

"That may not be enough!"

"It will have to be. There are deadlines involved. Bring the box to me within twenty-four hours with or without the thief."

Atkinson keyed the intercom, "Cheryl, Mr. Short is leaving. See him out please."

Short was a mile down the road before he realized he had forgotten to ask for Amy. He'd be returning in twenty-four hours, he supposed that would be soon enough. He had felt the box vibrate a couple of times during his interview with Atkinson. If it was a cell phone, the battery would be running out at this rate. He called Jean at the cafe but no one had come looking.

Short decided to stop off at the Max’s Hula Hut for dinner on the way home. Some gluten-free burritos and kolaches would balance out his sweet roll for lunch, he figured.

Chapter 3

Jay Leno was in rare form as Short finished off the last of the Goo Goo Cluster ice cream. The studio audience was laughing at a joke about the President when there was a knock on Short's door. He muted the show and opened the door. Amy was standing on his front step. Shocked, he backed up and let her in. She kissed him lightly on the lips. "Mmm, Goo Goo Cluster! How are you doing?"

"Pretty good."

"How's the private eye business?"

"Oh, you know, slow. You look fantastic!"

"Why thank you kind sir! You know, Cheryl told me you came by the office this afternoon, and why."

"I doubt that, I actually came to see you."

"Oh, I thought that was probably it, but you spoke to Atkinson instead. He hired you to retrieve something."

"Cheryl talks a lot."

Amy put her hand on his chest. "You know, if you give it to me, I'll see that Atkinson gets it. It would do a lot for my career. I'd really appreciate it!"

Short had trouble swallowing for a moment. In spite of everything, Amy still had that effect on him. "It isn't here. Besides, I can't, I need it to catch the thief. You shouldn’t tempt me, besides, what about that restraining order thing?"

"Is it…tempting? The restraining order is nothing. Just something the girls said I should do. You'd never hurt me. Would you?"

"Of course not."

Short's coat was on the dining room chair, he watched as she idly ran her hands over it, as if she were caressing a puppy. He sighed as he remembered her talented hands. They were so talented he’d stopped leaving his wallet in his coat or pants after the second month they were married.

"You're a sweet guy. Are you sure you won't give it to me? You know I can make it worth your while."

"Like I said, it's not here. And I've made other plans for it."

"You're loss, tiger. I’ll just leave you alone to think about it. When you come to your senses you know where to reach me. Any time, just whistle!"

He followed her out, making sure she left, then breathed a sigh of relief. The part of him that had been missing her wasn't the same part that remembered how utterly mercenary she was. Fortunately he had hidden the box in a safe place. The box had vibrated several more times while he was watching television and he'd grown tired of it. Besides, he wasn’t too sure what Atkinson might do. He'd finally put it inside the back of his old radio, a 1932 Silvertone floor model that he'd always intended to restore. People these days tended to forget how much empty space was in one of those old electronics cabinets. Short often used it as a place to stash things. When he’d first gotten it there had been an old bottle of nitro glycerin stashed in it. That was another story.

However, Short was really getting curious about what was in that box. Some mysteries were more solvable than others.

Short overslept the next morning. As he was enjoying his coffee and donut for breakfast his phone rang. Jean was calling from the cafe. "That girl came by for the box. I was giving her your card when her friend showed up. The friend said she knows you. They're on their way."

"Thanks."

Short had only just hung up the phone when he heard the car on the gravel outside. When he opened the door he recognized the young woman from the cafe. She looked at him nervously. Strangely, or maybe not, she was accompanied by Amy. He ushered them both into the kitchen.

Amy said brightly, "Surprise!"

"I'm not sure anything could surprise me anymore."

"This is Justine Atkinson."

"Oh really? Any relation?"

Justine spoke, "Trevor's my uncle. Amy said that you have my box."

"Your box, huh? Did she tell you why I was holding on to it?"

"Yes, but we were hoping to convince you otherwise."

"So tell me."

Amy put her hand on Justine's arm. It was almost painful to see how Justine looked at her.

"Let me tell him."

Justine nodded jerkily at her. She turned to Short.

"A programmer in Kansas developed a smart phone app called "Pinocchio". It's pretty ingenious. He wanted it to be free to the public, but Otheros stepped in. They bought it outright. The programmer then had a "fatal accident". Otheros, specifically Trevor Atkinson, felt that they could make a lot of money by charging money to suppress the app."

"And Pinocchio is,,,"

Justine spoke, "It's a handheld lie detector. On a phone."

Amy nodded. "In the box is a smart phone. What they call a "jailbreak" model. It can be made to work with any cell provider. But that's not the important part. On the phone is the only existing copy of the Pinocchio app. A courier dropped it off, no one has even had a chance to open it yet."

Short thought for a moment, "so, people of means who don't care to be caught lying…."

Justine smiled nervously, "most politicians, salesmen, televangelists, …"

Amy laughed, "heck, plenty of spouses. There are any number of people who would pay to avoid being caught in a lie."

Short started to reply to that but let it go.

Justine rubbed her temples. "That was Uncle Trevor's plan. To see how many people he could find who would pay to have it destroyed. That's why I took it. It just seemed really wrong. Amy helped me, but basically I just walked out with it a couple of days ago. I was taking it to show a TV journalist when I lost it."

Amy playfully swatted her on the hand, "you left it in the cafe, you mean!"

"There were deputies, I thought they were following me."

Short thought for a moment. "How does it work?"

"Only the developer really knew. However, when it's running on the phone no one can tell. You can program it to use a ring tone or vibrate if you want. You set it so that you won't confuse it for a call or a text message and you're the only one who will know. In demo mode it vibrates a long and a short signal, like "buzzzzzzzzz—-buzz." Just another text message if anyone hears it, but only you know the truth."

Amy said, "Literally!"

Short made a decision, he went to the other room and retrieved the box. He returned with it to the kitchen.

Both Amy and Justine reached for it eagerly, Short held on to it for a moment.

"I sympathize with what you want to do, but I have a dilemma."

The other two looked at him, puzzled.

"I do have a commitment to return the device, along with the thief. And, Atkinson knows that I have it."

Justine looked at Amy, then spoke hesitatingly. "I'll be in trouble, but I can't believe Uncle Trevor will press charges. I’ve been feeling bad about it anyway."

Amy said, "I think you’re being silly. I think I have an idea about the phone though. Can I have it?"

Short reluctantly handed over the box. Amy took it and carefully began to peel off the tape.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see." She removed the tape easily enough, opened the box and removed the phone. She glanced at it and dropped it into her purse. Then she pulled out another cell and put it into the box. "This one is clean. I took it from a recycling center." Then, she re-taped the box and dropped it onto the floor, pulled a skillet off the rack and whacked it hard three times. The box was crushed, with the new phone inside. Amy laughed, “There now, it was accidentally dropped and run over by a car!”

Justine turned white as a ghost, "What have you done?"

"Think about it, honey. As far as they know the phone is destroyed like it was going to be anyway. If Short takes you to Trevor with it, what are they going to do about it? Meanwhile, I'll take the phone to the press and after a few days the story will be out! Atkinson's contributors will be pissed, but what can they do? I'll give you the credit; you'll be a hero! Trust me!"

Before anyone else could move, Amy picked up her purse and bustled out the door leaving a quick peck on each of their cheeks. Short let her go.

Justine shook her head, "what just happened?"

"We've been Amy’d. No doubt she plans to pull the same scam Atkinson was going to. Within an hour she'll be contacting congressmen, and so on."

"She wouldn't do that, she said she's going to the press."

“Are you two, umm, a couple?”

Justine looked down, then shook her head. “Amy’s been very sweet to me.”

"You don't know her like I do, kid. I doubt either of us will see her again.”

“How could you let her do it then?”

“Experience, she’s sort of a force of nature. Forget it, let's call your uncle and see if we can convince him."

As he dialed the phone Short sighed. He really wasn't surprised. It was probably better this way.

Chapter 4

Short entered Otheros United with Justine in tow. Cheryl was not at the reception desk. The uniformed security guard met them. His nameplate said "Bruno".

Short raised an eyebrow. "Bruno? Really?"

Bruno shrugged and led them down an empty hallway to another conference room. Ty Bonnet was inside. Bruno entered with them, closed the door and put his back against it.

Ty spoke first, "Where's the box?"

Short and Justine spoke at the same time, "Where's Atkinson?" "Where's Uncle Trevor?"

"He called a company meeting in the cafeteria. He didn't want anyone to know you were involved. I repeat, where's the box?"

Short pulled a plastic bag with the crushed box from his pocket and laid it on the table. Mangled and disintegrated plastic and electronics were visible through the tears in the cardboard. Ty poked at it a bit then carefully placed it into a drawer.

"That's unfortunate, Short. Still, it was likely going to be destroyed anyway. You've failed all around, it seems. The device is gone and you failed to bring in the thief!"

Justine spoke, "That’s not true! He brought me in, I'm the thief!"

"Nonsense, Miss Atkinson. You just showed poor judgment."

Short stepped forward. "Stop the runaround. My arrangement was with Atkinson. I insist that we see him."

Ty smiled a shark's smile. "You're not in any position to make demands, Short. In fact, Mr. Atkinson may see fit to charge you with stealing the device and kidnapping poor Justine here!"

Justine started to interrupt but Short grabbed her arm. "You'll never make that stick."

"I guess it all depends on who has the most expensive lawyer. Even now I'm watching as you physically threaten her. Guard, restrain Mr. Short!"

Bruno stepped forward. Short stepped back, his hands up. "It's okay, Bruno. I'll go peaceably." He turned back to Ty. “Nothing had better happen to the girl.”

“It won’t. She’s a valuable family member. Now, escort Mr. Short from the premises, guard. His services are no longer required!”

Bruno stood to one side and indicated the door.

Ty had to have another last word. “By the way, Short; Mr. Atkinson stopped payment on the check!"

The guard held the door as Short walked through. The hall was still empty of life as Bruno walked him to the exit and ushered him out.

Short turned and saluted. "See you soon Bruno, it's been a pleasure!" Bruno merely shook his head and took his station beside the door as Short crossed the parking lot, his new cell phone vibrating in his pocket. One long buzz, one short.

02-Mar-2014

Parson Short Rides Again!

Many years ago when I was involved in writing mystery plays I came up with a fictional character I called Parson Short. He was mentioned in a couple of the plays as a fictional character and then made an appearance as an actual character in one play. He was intended to be both real and fictional, sort of like Ellery Queen who was the supposed writer of the series of Ellery Queen mysteries of which he was a character as well. 

I thought of the character as a sort of take off on other characters I was reading at the time. Ministerial types were hot for awhile back then. Father Brown, Sister Mary Helen, Rabbi David Small and others. Parson Short was conceived as a small time private investigator. He wasn't an actual minister, his first name was actually Parson. I gave him a stock rejoinder to questions, "Parson's the name, not the occupation!"

We had fun making up fictional books that the fictional character would have appeared in, all titles with the word "Short" in them, like "Short Stories", "Murder for Short", etc. That was from our "Reunion with Death" script, and as I said, Parson Short made an actual appearance as a living character in the script for "Play Dead."

As I was planning my current rural mystery series in progress I thought of having Parson Short be a resident of the town as a reclusive mystery author. Wheels within wheels. 

Parson Short has popped up again, though. I am taking a Creative Writing: Plotting class with Fleeta Cunningham in Bastrop, Tx currently. As the main exercise of the class we are plotting and writing a short story throughout the class. Therefore, I have resurrected Parson Short to be my protagonist! Look for the new adventure to appear here when finished!

Onward!