Another Past Poem.

I wrote this back when I was spending way too much time on the internet in chat rooms.

 

I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS

I didn’t want this in my life,

this glowing siren that takes my days

and haunts my nights.

Taking me places I never wanted to go

along with those I did.

It draws my eyes and fingers and mind

into vortices of time and space.

Hallways and rooms that don’t exist.

Memories of an absent mind.

Who do I meet there,

passing the time in text and speech?

Countless souls lost in a limbo

more dreadful than any Dante could see

in his fevered dreams.

All of the lost, wandering, searching for hope.

What hope?

Hope they know nothing of,

a thing they can’t identify

except to know it’s absence.

Love, or understanding, or acceptance.

Missing pieces in their ever-shifting puzzle.

Constantly morphing from shape to shape.

This, or that, or him, or her.

Is it you? Will you love me?

Or cast me aside?

Am I your piece?

Are you mine?

Can we possibly be each other’s

piece, and peace?

How can we know

if words are lies?

Even the ones that are true?

Especially the true?

I hope

I trust

I love

Perhaps I lose.

W. C. Seward

1999

A Poem from way back.

CONCORD

There is a mesa over there,

see, to the east?

Oh, I know, the locals,

of which I'm one,

call it Pilot Knob.

It's Gabriel Peak

on the map.

It's a mesa to me.

In my youth I heard

the tales of my

great-great grandpa

William R. Seward.

He worked on the fabled

Smithwick Mill

on the Colorado,

not THAT one.

The one in Texas.

On moonlit nights

he'd get his horse

and ride to Pilot Knob

courting lovely Jenny.

The ride was far,

at night on horse.

I think he loved her.

We had Indians, they say.

Comanches,

both deadly and mischievous.

They knew the man

and the horse.

They wanted the horse.

In shadowed darkness

they'd lie in wait.

For horse and man to come.

They'd whoop and yell

and whip their ponies.

The race was on.

How many times

did they run that race?

How many times

did he win?

I know that he won.

Lucky for me.

That's almost all I know

about William R.

Perhaps that's all

I'll ever know,

or need to know.

It's enough.

On moonlit nights

I stand out here,

watch that mesa

over there.

I swear I can hear

pounding hooves,

a whoop and then

just the wind.

I know he's made it

once again.

I tip my hat

to memories

of old stories

and go inside

to my own Jenny.

Bill Seward

Jan. 26, 1998

Perspectives

I was reminded lately how many Christians use their bible as a spot cleaner. If they don't agree with something, they grab one verse, usually out of context, that seems to talk against whatever it is they don't agree with, and use that to prove their point. I suppose that is at least better than just repeating some vague generalization like "the Bible says that's wrong!" without even knowing WHAT the book says. In that case, they just repeat what someone else has told them it says. Perhaps THAT person was also repeating information they didn't know the true source of either. Knowing your source at least gives you the aura of authenticity, even if it is taken out of context or inconsistently applied.


The particular case this time was about the use of the Tarot. Now, the Tarot isn't mentioned specifically in the bible. There are general prohibitions about hanging out with people who prophesy or do other seemingly occult things. Of course, many of those proclamations were conditional. Like "if you go to this place, don't get caught up with all the weird things they do, don't forget you are God's people!" My rather loose translation, but you'll find that same injunction many times in various words. 


Here's one quote that seems good. In the old testament book of Leviticus, chapter 19, starting with verse 26 “You shall not eat any flesh with the blood in it. You shall not interpret omens or tell fortunes." (ESV)   Ooh, that seems pretty explicit against fortunetellers. Let's keep that one around to hit people with.


On the other hand, we might not want to remember the next verses: 27 "You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard. 28 You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord."

Hmm, well, we can use part of that against those weird tattooed people. On the other hand, we can keep verse 27 to remind us not to cut off our sideburns or trim our beards. Unless of course, you want to, then I guess we just forget that one. Also unless, of course, you are female. But then, we know, for the most part, in the bible, females are second class citizens. 


You can certainly find more examples for yourself. Many Christians seem to be excellent at picking and choosing which part of their bible they want to apply at any particular time. As I said, spot cleaning. 


Most of those "useful for hitting others over the head with" scriptures are in the Old Testament. As long as they can be used to prove a point against someone they are "useful for doctrine and reproof." (2nd Timothy 3:16.) Of course, if we find something in that old section we DON'T agree with it must part of that old covenant. As in Hebrews 8:13   "In speaking of a new covenant, he makes the first one obsolete. And what is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to vanish away." (ESV again).


Hey, if you're going to use it, use it all. You don't get to pick and choose. That's what I'm saying. I have not doubt the same can be said for most of the established religions. Christianity is the only one I have experience with. 

Now, every group, of any religious persuasion or none,  has a majority of good honest people who do their best to live their lives to their very best, hurting none, fair and helpful to all. It's just those vocal, screwy few who are the bad apples. When those vocal screwballs get to be in positions of authority, watch out!


I prefer the path of living life deliberately. It is the Avatar path, the warrior path, the shaman path. It has many names.

I Don't Wanna!!!!!!

     I didn't feel like blogging today. But I'm also in the middle of reading Natalie Goldberg's "Thunder and Lightning". (My current "bathroom book"). Maybe that's why I thought I'd blog about why I don't feel like blogging. Can you follow that convoluted path of reason?
     Maybe it's the thought of, "hmm, if we only read blogs by people who feel like writing, then it's a bit like reading a work of fiction without conflict." Or maybe not. I think my reasoning is a bit suspect this morning. That's part of the reason I didn't feel like it.
     Yesterday we made our more or less weekly trip into Austin. We ran some errands, went to Whole Foods, finally got my late mother's cell phone account turned off (it was on my family plan), I replenished my stock from Microbial Earth and later attended a staff meeting. Cat had a planning meeting for an upcoming Pentacle of Pearl class. Stuff like that.
     Somewhere in the middle of all that we went to eat at one of our favorites, Magnolia Cafe. It's a good place to eat, open 24 hours. 
     We almost always have their Mag Queso appetizer. A really good queso dip with avocado and other good stuff and fresh tortilla chips. I usually follow with Sonora Enchiladas with more queso sauce, my personal favorite dish there. Mmmm, satisfying comfort food!
     One thing you should know, cheese often seems to give me weird dreams. We ultimately got home pretty late, I was exhausted and my back hurt from driving the car.
     I fell into bed, read for awhile to settle my head, as usual. My "main" book right now is "Wizard's First Rule", by Terry Goodkind. It's an enjoyable fantasy novel. I finally put it down and zonked out.
     I had vivid, scrambled, dreams all night long. I often have epic, story dreams that are very enjoyable, like I'm watching a movie I'm in, or reading the story. This time, though, it was like being in a room with twenty televisions going at once, each on a different cable channel. It seemed like many different stories scrambled together seamlessly.          Confusing.
     I slept very late. Punctuated by the usual bathroom trips and one to feed a nagging cat, all done in half-awake state. 
     When I began to wake it was like fighting my way out of quicksand. I had a need to get up. Lying in bed too long causes my back and hips to begin hurting, stiffening up, eventually I just have to get up and get vertical. However, every inch I rose toward waking, I sank back again.        
     That quicksand of sleep/dream had an octopus in it, or that swamp creature from "Lord of the Rings". You know the one at the door to Khazad-dum (I think it was.) that almost got Frodo and the others. A many tentacled beast that kept sending up more arms to drag them back. That's what it felt like. Even nearly awake I kept getting flashes of the dreams I was coming out of, sucking me back. It was a struggle. 
     Finally, I got out of bed with an aching head and body. My brain still feels like it's in molasses. And that's after breakfast and coffee. So, that's where I am now.
     I can't remember a single dream image from that montage of scrambled dreams. Yet, they consumed me all night long. (I know, I know, we typically only dream the last few seconds before waking. I'm talking about how it felt.)
     But, what the heck. I managed to write a considerable length blog about not feeling like blogging. It's all good! Right?
     Have a great weekend! Mine will be spent at the Bastrop 1832 Farmer's Market and Sherwood Forest Faire!
     Ciao!
 

Winter Stuff Revisited

     In response to my recent post about cold weather and related issues, Keith Howard at LawCareService.net sent me a link to their blog about avoiding frozen pipes. http://www.lawncareservice.net/blog/2011/10-tips-to-avoid-your-pipes-freezing-in-winter/
It's good advice, and the rest of the blog is well worth reading. Of course, when my pipes get frozen, it's more a case of being lazy than not knowing what to do. 
     In a mobile home, like ours, the number one weak point to freezing is the service line that must come out of the ground and enter the floor of the mobile home. You've got maybe three feet of exposed pipe that really must be insulated. Just because we typically only have a few days of freezing weather here, that doesn't mean the pipes are safe. The second great idea is to under pin the house, or close up the underside so wind can't blow under. That's important not just for the pipes, but it keeps the floor cooler in summer and warmer in winter and will cut down those utility bills. 
     Sometimes varmints, dogs, and repair processes can leave a portion of the insulation under the mobile home open, exposing the pipes and floor to cold air. Close that up any way you can. 
Mobile homes tend to be built using different methods and materials than conventional housing. That sometimes means that what is needed to make repairs is not the same standard stuff you would run into at the lumber yard. Doors, windows, plumbing fixtures, piping and fittings, even sizes of lumber used are usually "special" types or sizes.  You may wind up seeking a dedicated supply store for mobile homes.
     The insulation and closure material under the mobile home is usually a continuous sheet of insulation, covered by another continuous sheet of plastic or other material. Easy to cut a hole in and work on stuff, but complicated to re-seal, since there isn't really much but sheet material to attach to. It can be done, but it requires thought and lumber, usually. I wind up adding some sort of framing around a hole, just to attach new insulation, etc. to. 
     Of course your mobile home may have other exposed pipes. We are attached to a rainwater collection system. There is a pressure pump and tank involved that can freeze also. Those are enclosed, insulated, and heated in winter. 
     Don't be lazy. (That was me telling myself!) A few extra minutes of preparing things in nice weather is a lot better than crawling around in the snow thawing pipes, repairing plumbing, and controlling damage from leaks. Tell yourself that, I'll tell myself the same.
     That always makes me think of the old story about the guy with the leaky roof. He never fixed it when the sun was shining because it wasn't leaking then!
     Enjoy.

For Hire

I'm brainstorming on my marketable skills. Want to listen in? Based on my own skill, experience, and interests, here is a list of ways I will be making money from now on.


Blogging: First off, there is this blog. It has started to pay off in a small way, it will keep growing as people visit and actually use the links. Secondly, I will blog for anyone else who wants a blog for self or business purposes. I am open to blogging as a guest, or as a ghost writer. These days the best way to promote a business is to have a blog for people to read about it. 


Writing: Work continues on my novels in progress including my Pen Sadler mystery series set in rural Central Texas, and my fantasy novel. I also have a couple of new plays working. More details to follow.


Drafting: I will continue to provide contract drafting services. My degree is in Drafting and Design, and I have forty years of experience as a working draftsman both manually and with CAD. Primarily I have worked in the steel fabrication business as a structural and miscellaneous steel detailer/checker. I will also provide custom house plans for people who know what they want, or any other related drafting services.


Permaculture: I hold a Permaculture Design Certificate. I will provide permaculture design service, as well as report writing and drafting services for other designers. I am also available to help in writing up permaculture, how-to, or other projects and related articles for magazine publication.


Resource person: I've been called a know-it-all. I hold a lot of knowledge in many diverse fields, I also am a very good researcher. Writing your own novel? Not sure about weapons? PLEASE check with me. Even experienced authors often make simple mistakes about weapons and other easy topics. Other research questions for any purpose whatever? Simple editing of text? Ask me first. Easy rates. 
 
Repairs: Small appliances, light welding, just about anything. Small construction projects too, and farm equipment. Just ask me about it!


Art and sales: I continue to represent Microbial Earth Farms at Bastrop 1832 Farmer's Market in season selling compost, soil improvement products, and compost systems. 
I also work with my partner Cat Dancing at Sherwood Forest Faire (booth 309, Feb. 19 thru April 3, 2011weekends) and other events. We sell Cat's Intarsia and stained glass art, as well as my own line of RainCrow and Sylph Song flutes.


There are probably a few more things to add to the list. I'll keep you posted.

Finding Hiram Turnbloood

     After a couple of weeks hiatus, for various reasons, I got back to work on a couple of my writing projects.
     I had a couple of ideas to incorporate into my fantasy novel, and I needed to un-scramble my mystery series.
     You see, I've been planning out a series of mysteries set in a fictional Central Texas small town. I have a main character I like and a few possible story lines figured out. Early on I had great fun planning the town, based on my experiences with many different smallish towns over the years. Thinking of likely places of business and town characters has been interesting.
The program SimCity or The Sims might have been helpful for this process, I expect, but the way I was going, I may have gotten totally distracted by that process and forgotten my purpose of actually telling a story.
     So there I was, willy-nilly popping in characters and coming up with suitable names, with an eye on the whole series rather than just one novel. For this project, I'm actively using the free yWriter5 program I've written of previously. I set up one file for the overall series, treating each projected book as if it were one chapter for purposes of making notes and keeping them organized. Another file is set up for the one novel of that series I'm actively working on. The software has the capability of importing data from one file to the other, such as character files, etc.
     After some time of plugging in new ideas for the series, and working on the selected novel, a couple of things became evident. One, the list of characters in the book was digressing a bit from the list for the series. Two, I was losing track of the relationships of main and peripheral characters. Now, one of the telling characteristics of small towns is the appearance that literally all the old-timers are related to each other in some way. Not totally true, but it certainly seems that way.
     I realized as I went along that I couldn't just randomly establish that character A was an uncle to character B, or that C was an ex-wife of D. Before long that would get me into trouble. In fact,  I was already getting there. It wouldn't be so much of an issue in a one shot novel, but as a reader, I value some consistency in a series. Also, at least one of my projected story lines involved genealogy, so I decided I'd better get straight on it from the beginning.
     As I wrote in my blog on genealogy, I use the P.A.F. program from the L.D.S. folks for my genealogy pursuits. They have evolved a different name for it now, but I still think of it with the original name.
     I set up a genealogy file with that program for my townsfolk. I entered all my established characters into PAF. As I proceeded, I worked out ages and generations, who was related to who, and added a few new characters to round it all out. I actually came up with a few surprises for myself. Like "oh yeah, if this person is that one's aunt, that adds this interesting slant!"
     Yesterday I finished working it all out in the genealogy program. I printed out an alphabetized list of everyone (three columns on both sides of one sheet to save paper.) The list had names and birth dates. I went back to my story software, started correlating/adding new characters and filling in ages I now had established, marking them off the printed list as I went. I had to refer back to the genealogy now and then for relationships. "Oh yes, Susan is Claude's wife."
      I had one name left over.
     Hiram Turnblood.
     Who's that?
     I didn't recognize the name. Not a bad name. In fact, an appropriate name for the older generations of  my townsfolk. I just didn't remember who he was supposed to be. I looked in my original character list. Not there. I turned back to the genealogy program that produced the printed list. Hmm, he's not there either. No Turnblood family names, even. Not only is he not connected to anyone I entered, he does not exist in the program that generated the printout. He's there in black and white on the printout, he just doesn't exist anywhere prior to that.
     Hmmm. Okay, I guess he wants to be included. I added him to the story program character list. I don't know who he is, or what his purpose will be, but there he is. You hear writers talk about characters who take over the story, but this is totally out of left field. I wonder who he'll be.
     Maybe he'll be a Norwegian Bachelor Farmer type. (Prairie Home Companion reference, for the uninitiated.) 
     At least in my fictional world there's no shortage of potential jobs.
     Onward!


The Ultimate Writer's Name Book: A Novelist's, Screenwriter's, and Playwrighter's Resource for Naming Characters