Friday, March 25, 2011

I Don't Wanna!!!!!!

     I didn't feel like blogging today. But I'm also in the middle of reading Natalie Goldberg's "Thunder and Lightning". (My current "bathroom book"). Maybe that's why I thought I'd blog about why I don't feel like blogging. Can you follow that convoluted path of reason?
     Maybe it's the thought of, "hmm, if we only read blogs by people who feel like writing, then it's a bit like reading a work of fiction without conflict." Or maybe not. I think my reasoning is a bit suspect this morning. That's part of the reason I didn't feel like it.
     Yesterday we made our more or less weekly trip into Austin. We ran some errands, went to Whole Foods, finally got my late mother's cell phone account turned off (it was on my family plan), I replenished my stock from Microbial Earth and later attended a staff meeting. Cat had a planning meeting for an upcoming Pentacle of Pearl class. Stuff like that.
     Somewhere in the middle of all that we went to eat at one of our favorites, Magnolia Cafe. It's a good place to eat, open 24 hours. 
     We almost always have their Mag Queso appetizer. A really good queso dip with avocado and other good stuff and fresh tortilla chips. I usually follow with Sonora Enchiladas with more queso sauce, my personal favorite dish there. Mmmm, satisfying comfort food!
     One thing you should know, cheese often seems to give me weird dreams. We ultimately got home pretty late, I was exhausted and my back hurt from driving the car.
     I fell into bed, read for awhile to settle my head, as usual. My "main" book right now is "Wizard's First Rule", by Terry Goodkind. It's an enjoyable fantasy novel. I finally put it down and zonked out.
     I had vivid, scrambled, dreams all night long. I often have epic, story dreams that are very enjoyable, like I'm watching a movie I'm in, or reading the story. This time, though, it was like being in a room with twenty televisions going at once, each on a different cable channel. It seemed like many different stories scrambled together seamlessly.          Confusing.
     I slept very late. Punctuated by the usual bathroom trips and one to feed a nagging cat, all done in half-awake state. 
     When I began to wake it was like fighting my way out of quicksand. I had a need to get up. Lying in bed too long causes my back and hips to begin hurting, stiffening up, eventually I just have to get up and get vertical. However, every inch I rose toward waking, I sank back again.        
     That quicksand of sleep/dream had an octopus in it, or that swamp creature from "Lord of the Rings". You know the one at the door to Khazad-dum (I think it was.) that almost got Frodo and the others. A many tentacled beast that kept sending up more arms to drag them back. That's what it felt like. Even nearly awake I kept getting flashes of the dreams I was coming out of, sucking me back. It was a struggle. 
     Finally, I got out of bed with an aching head and body. My brain still feels like it's in molasses. And that's after breakfast and coffee. So, that's where I am now.
     I can't remember a single dream image from that montage of scrambled dreams. Yet, they consumed me all night long. (I know, I know, we typically only dream the last few seconds before waking. I'm talking about how it felt.)
     But, what the heck. I managed to write a considerable length blog about not feeling like blogging. It's all good! Right?
     Have a great weekend! Mine will be spent at the Bastrop 1832 Farmer's Market and Sherwood Forest Faire!

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